Why?
by DarthGlacier
Summary: My answer to why Perfect Cell means so much to me. Rated T for implied situations. Read if you want.


A/N: this is a strange explination of my views on Perfect Cell, and why he means so much to me. This may seem really weird to most, but I'm sure a few people agree that fictional beings can help ones life.

i do not own Cell, he belongs to DBZ.

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The common question: why? Why do we do things, why do others do things, why does anyone do anything? Why do I allow myself to go to him, why do I let him torture me in so many ways? Why do I adore the cruel, and seemingly heartless creature? Because I promised him, because I am in debt to him, because I swore myself to belong to him. His name is Cell, and I am his, and I love every waking moment of it.

It makes no sense to many, here I am, at his mercy every day, where he at times will belittle me, but to a point, he is nice, he shows kindness through conversation. It lets me know I am worthy to him. He does whatever he wants to me, and it's okay.

Why? Is it because he's stronger? His strength is immeasurable, able to lift cars with ease and stop meteorites in their plight towards Earth. Able to destroy a building with a flick of the wrist and to kill a man with graceful ease.

Is it because he's intimidating? Cell has struck fear into the entire planet, his very presence dripping with malicious evil, causing my skin to be covered in goosebumps every time my mind takes notice. My heart races with adrenaline as he shows his sadistic side in murder and torture of civilians. Oh how he enjoys it, his smug grin shows it all. And his eyes, to stare at them for too long may feel as if it will cause your death through his glare alone. But at the same time, they are perfect, just the correct shade of pink, those magenta iris' hypnotize me, they stare into my soul and take hold of it. Even his voice causes me to pay attention to anything he has to say.

Is it because he's powerful? He has immense power, so much that being a good distance from him, you can still feel it, making a strange feeling form in the pit of your stomach. To be right next to his tall form makes it even worse, so much power that I must remind myself to breath because of how suffocating the energy is. It fills the air, reminding you of his presence, never allowing anyone who can sense Ki to forget Cell while he still lives. I at times feel as if I may be pushed over from some invisible field that surrounds him, his Ki emanating off of his body, not visibly, but it can be felt for sure. My own power comes nowhere close to his, it makes me feel small and insignificant, but I strangely enjoy it. To stand next to this giant insect like man with earth shattering abilities is…exciting.

Why do I enjoy feeling like that towards him? Why do I enjoy his torture? He tortures me not only through training me to the point where I pass out of exhaustion, but he will make me scream in primal ecstasy. One charming and charismatic statement, or a soft and slow lick to my neck and I'm more than willing for anything. He knows it drives me insane, the warm and wet organ flowing across my neck, his tongue playing with the area that can feel the pulse of my heart as it gains momentum, biting down on the groove of my shoulder, to the point where he breaks the skin and makes me bleed and laps it up, savoring my flavor. I lose control of my breathing, my thoughts are a muddle of yes and no. I clutch to his body, my hands feeling his own skin, so perfect, like a newborn infants, soft and unscathed as he runs his fingers upon my scars, enjoying the feel of it. Yes, this feels so very right. No, this is wrong, it can't be okay. He's causing you pleasure, he's causing you pain. He's making love to you, he's treating you like a sex toy. Though most would want the first options, I am strangely content, and quite frankly happy with the latter. Why? It shows me that he is in charge, that he makes the rules, that he is all powerful and he owns me. Why would anyone enjoy this? What sane person would want this? All my life I have had humiliation, but as I got older, I took control, and found that no one could take me down. If anyone were to try me, I would swiftly and mercilessly take them down to the low level that they deserved, to knock them off their high pedestal where they thought, but indeed did not belong. But what of me? I am now in control, for someone to have the ability to gain it from me, to own me and have full control, for me to allow them to take it, it's mind boggling. I can't even fathom allowing another to control me. No other, but Cell. I respect everything about him, I enjoy all that he has to offer, whether it by my own choice to take it or for him to force it upon me. Perhaps it is because from all the years of pain from my fellow peers that I became comfortable with such things? Could my past have caused me to become Dominant and Sadistic towards most, but masochistic and submissive towards one? A psychologist may answer yes, but it doesn't exactly matter. I know what I want, and it's Cell.

But why feel in debt to him? He isn't real here in reality, why feel a belonging to him? I had such a harsh time in my life this recent year, I felt horrific pain that most could not even begin to imagine, circulating throughout my entire being, causing me to pass out from the sheer intensity. Many feel as if a stubbed toe or a splinter is so terrible, but my insides were cut up, stitched back together, and my body was in such shock from surgery that it wasn't responding correctly to body functions, such a simple task as using the bathroom was Hell. I screamed at the top of my lungs in the hospital, tears flowing from my burning eyes, my hands clawing at the skin of my own legs hoping that my brain would concentrate on another area of pain other than my throbbing and sliced up back. It was hard to breath, I couldn't concentrate, all I knew was pain. I would ask God, beg him, to make it stop, but deep down I knew it would not, not until the medication kicked in, but I knew I had to endure this. I knew that I had to go through this trial to make me stronger for what was ahead in life and I thanked God for it, however cruel the test may seem. Hours later, as I lie in my hospital bed, in an uncomfortable but less pained state in the dark, my mind suddenly began to daydream. I dreamed of Cell. When I saw him, I was happy. His very voice made me smile, and his face was enough to make my day. I felt that he was actually there, my vivid imagination always having allowed me in the past and present to practically feel the one I think of, almost on a completely physical level. For the next days in the hospital along with the rest of my recovery, I would think of that perfect bio-android, and feel so much at ease. I truly felt that God gave me such imagination, and introduced Cell into my life, to help me. And help me he did, in a strange way saving the shred of sanity I had left. I am in debt to Cell because he was a key factor in saving my life.

Because of such things that he, unbeknownst to him, did for me, I belong to him. He is a monster to many, but a dark angel to me. I will stand by his side, and aid him in every way, shape, and form.

Do you disagree? Do you feel it is impossible for a fictional character to do something like that? I don't care, to me, this creature is real. I love him, and even though I may at times think of others, draw others, speak of my respect of others, Cell is at the top, Cell is my number one, Cell is perfect, and I will always, in one way or another, belong to him.


End file.
